This evening, I was planning what I wanted my schedule to look like for my senior year of high school. In terms of classes, I was hoping for six out of seven AP classes in addition to tons of extracurricular activities and projects. I calculated what my GPA would be and compared that to what my “competition’s,” or my rival peer’s, GPA might be. Everything I wanted to do was good, but I began to ask how genuine it actually was. … I used to think I was holy. Going into 8th grade I thought about what a perfect kid I was. I would tell myself that my academic motivation was only a side thing. The Bible tells us that one cannot serve two masters. Right now I am serving one and that is myself. When can I find redemption?
Prayer Journal, June 2, 2015
If your will sometime in the future is for me to further my education, may your will be done and I will embrace it, but I only want to follow where God leads, no matter what the sacrifice. My God, help me to abandon my trust in myself and all my worldly desires. I come to you, O God, the God Shepherd. Embrace me, lead me unto you.
Prayer Journal, June 3, 2015
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