Ever since getting back home more or less I’ve been struggling. I was sick for most of the first week and was restless, unmotivated and frustrated to the extent that I would have to sit and close my eyes, close to tears. I could not even find peace with my fasting–my heart was cold and I was weak in temptation. Today finally–and last night–I felt the provision of grace. It was a very productive day and I found greater trust in the Holy Spirit with my fast–enabling me to do more with greater ease. I feel very strongly Holy Mary’s promise to give me grace. This evening was the first time I have attended Mass actually in person (they are live-streamed because of the coronavirus.) The priest spoke in the homily that the prophecy of Isaiah that every tear will be wiped away is a glimpse of what is eternal. Likewise, what is without time, what is eternal, ὃ ᾦν, He Who Is, comes into time through the incarnation and the Eucharist. In spite of the these gifts of grace I felt in danger of delusion. I cried to Jesus that he would be my Shepherd. When finally I received the Eucharist tears flowed inexplicably and almost do now again as I write. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, for so great is your mercy.
Prayer Journal, March 24, 2020
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